after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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