Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize