I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm too high and old for this...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
