Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
zippers are such a cool invention
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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