I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
