Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
