hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
