I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
