I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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