im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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