Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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