Girls should come with a carfax report
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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