I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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