he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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