it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize