i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
