so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize