I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
