And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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