you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
