There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
