the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
