That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
