I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO