Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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  (713): I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima (832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985 http://tfl.nu/o133
  Replies (19) Good night (4141) Bad night (654)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

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  (414): Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her. http://tfl.nu/4z7e
  Replies (12) Good night (4609) Bad night (1151)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.

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  (703): Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea. http://tfl.nu/zyyz
  Replies (17) Good night (852) Bad night (3275)
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  (415): View more from California

  I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

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  (415): I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice. http://tfl.nu/3g7h
  Replies (13) Good night (3096) Bad night (868)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"

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  (239): I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself" http://tfl.nu/9vkt
  Replies (6) Good night (2349) Bad night (1234)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.

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  (732): please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me. http://tfl.nu/r1h1
  Replies (2) Good night (2766) Bad night (716)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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  (614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (662)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

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  (972): I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan. http://tfl.nu/tlw1
  Replies (14) Good night (602) Bad night (1699)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.

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  (540): Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes. http://tfl.nu/qx0i
  Replies (11) Good night (1465) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

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  (805): You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like. http://tfl.nu/70wr
  Replies (14) Good night (724) Bad night (1203)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.

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  (541): Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/2v18
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (278)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.

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  (701): Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich. http://tfl.nu/pg0v
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (225)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

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  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.

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  (337): If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto. http://tfl.nu/lfjp
  Replies (0) Good night (712) Bad night (248)

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