I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night