Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.

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  (818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life. http://tfl.nu/wz8b
  Replies (10) Good night (768) Bad night (1359)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Girls should come with a carfax report

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  (910): Girls should come with a carfax report http://tfl.nu/ithx
  Replies (55) Good night (7354) Bad night (1865)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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  (301): Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background. http://tfl.nu/pa5j
  Replies (23) Good night (5710) Bad night (900)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics

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  (513): i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics http://tfl.nu/sgxc
  Replies (9) Good night (4328) Bad night (1211)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.

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  (313): while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up. http://tfl.nu/p2q9
  Replies (14) Good night (3422) Bad night (2027)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...

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  (757): she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them... http://tfl.nu/ior4
  Replies (23) Good night (5467) Bad night (1695)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1

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  (865): We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1 http://tfl.nu/rd3z
  Replies (9) Good night (891) Bad night (637)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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  (+61): Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness. http://tfl.nu/4vgt
  Replies (1) Good night (968) Bad night (627)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.

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  (414): Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask. http://tfl.nu/qumd
  Replies (6) Good night (1197) Bad night (552)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to

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  (662): Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to http://tfl.nu/r6si
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (397)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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  (586): Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent. http://tfl.nu/up93
  Replies (5) Good night (890) Bad night (340)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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  (347): I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical. http://tfl.nu/o6lg
  Replies (7) Good night (820) Bad night (444)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.

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  (214): I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory. http://tfl.nu/tp70
  Replies (0) Good night (750) Bad night (341)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When was the last time you wore pants?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Time is relative.

  (214): View more from Texas

  And pants are optional.

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  (817): When was the last time you wore pants? (214): Time is relative. (214): And pants are optional. http://tfl.nu/5cz1
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (387)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico

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  (315): I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico http://tfl.nu/dzp9
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (204)

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