Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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