So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
