It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
