So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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