I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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