doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
