I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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