Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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