Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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