ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
