i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
