i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i've created a new STD.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
