But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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