so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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