I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Can Purell be used as lube?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
