She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
