I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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