She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
