Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
