i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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