Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
