I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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