I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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