Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
we should paint friendship bongs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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