The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
