I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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