this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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