We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
