the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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