She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
