I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
