he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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