normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
