"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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