i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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