Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
