Apparently you make a good broom.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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