i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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