You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
