first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
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