My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
