I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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