I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
